I wanted to start this series by talking about my views on raising a boy and get feedback on your views. Having a boy meant a few different things to me immediately. One of those was that I would be responsible for raising a husband/father. Luckily we have Anthony and he is fantastic at both. He will be a great example to our little guy! Also, I wanted to hit on spiritual leadership, helping to shape a responsible man, and how to teach little guys and big guys alike to do things that they might believe are not their roles. My husband has never been one to fight about his role in the family other than being our spiritual leader. Anthony cooks, does dishes, cleans, diapers Max, bathes Max but also fixes things, works full time, is super masculine and is by all means the MAN of our household. That is very big tight rope in raising boys and I wanted to pick this apart a little bit.
Also there are numerous issues that parents go through with boys that might be less of an issue with girls. Examples I have heard are the level of violence, weirdness phases, sexuality and body issues, etc... There are a number of issues that mothers of daughters go through more often as well but since I have a boy, I won't be hitting on those. (Unless God has other plans)
Today's topic is going to be....
Mama's boy or Daddy's boy???
I am not sure if it is our geographical region or not but one question that Anthony and I get asked a lot is "Is Max a Mama's Boy or a Daddy's boy?" We always answer the same and explain to people that Max really appreciates us both pretty equally. We are not just being diplomatic. There are times that Max wants nothing to do with me and only wants Daddy and times when he wants nothing to do with Anthony and only wants Mommy. There are also things that we each do with him that he knows is our role. Anthony always gives the bath. I am sure Max would be confused if I did that. Max also is used to mommy comforting him when he has a belly ache as I seem to have the magic touch with these issues. One thing that Anthony and I really focused on while I was pregnant and since Max was born is bonding with both of us in different ways. When I was pregnant, Anthony would read Harry Potter to me at night so Max could hear his voice throughout the whole pregnancy. I fully believe that this has helped him to know Anthony and be completely soothed by him.
Another thing we have done since Max was born is share responsibility as close to 50/50 as we can. We both feel that Max should respect us both and value us both as parents and part of our family. Anthony learns how to cook all of the major dishes I make so that he is of value in the kitchen as well as I am. I take the time to learn about discipline and rule setting so that Max does not only see Anthony as the disciplinarian. We very much want to be a unified front and team for our child so there is no confusion. Also, it is interesting to me the connotations that get put on a boy child when he is a "Mama's Boy!" Why is that?! I believe that a man (boy) who respects his mother and loves her is probably a man who will respect and love his wife properly. I desperately want Max to respect, love, and honor Anthony as well because that is a man who respects and loves himself.
So the question is..why the question...Mama's Boy or Daddy's Boy? Just curious!
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