Soul Food Sunday #4: Serving with your kids

This post was written by Nick Pridemore, College Pastor, Bloomington, Indiana. You can also find him at werdguys blogging on all things faith and fatherhood.

How do you build a family who serves others consistently as Jesus instructed us?

There is no doubt serving others is a central theme in Scripture. To truly live the Jesus life is to serve others. Jesus said greatness is found not in accolades and fame, but in putting others ahead of yourself, then he used himself as the prime example saying even the Messiah came to serve (Mark 10:44-45).

Figuring out practical ways to serve others is an increasingly important topic to tackle. It’s not that the act of serving has become inherently more important over the years since Jesus said these things. However, it is true that our society is becoming inherently less oriented towards service. The culture in which we live is hyper-focused on autonomy and comfort. We don’t want to feel responsible for others or burdened with their problems. Because this mindset is so prevalent in our society even sincere believers have been coaxed into thinking they are fulfilling the command to serve as long as they give to charity, which facilitates other people serving other people. That is not the case. We are called to serve directly (Matt 23:11, Matt 25:40, Mark 9:35, Gal 5:13-14, Phil 2:1-4). We are called to get our own hands dirty helping others. Because the scriptural teaching and definition of serving will be counter-cultural to our children it is important that we teach and model biblical service.

Learning to serve others starts in the home. If my kids hear me teach on putting others first to our college group, but do not see me serving my wife they will assume it is not really important. So, personally, I strive to serve my wife, both because she deserves it and as an example to my kids. We also try to ingrain in our kids the idea that helping others should be your natural habit. So, for example, when my wife goes grocery shopping we all (including my 2 year old) stop what we are doing and help carry in groceries. There are countless ways to instill the idea of serving among your family. 

Then we start taking the idea outside our 5 person nucleus and applying it to others. Teaching kids about serving is most effective when its contextualized to them. Here's an example, we often go to other people's houses for dinner or to hang out or whatever. If a particular house has toys, my kids generally play with those toys. But they know when I say "We are going to leave soon" that means they start picking up the toys they played with. Its a great chance to talk about how we treat others. We discuss that it would be unfair to make a mess and expect someone else to clean it up. In fact, not only do we clean up what we have done we also do extra. We leave things better than we found them. Because they have this frame work in their heads when it comes to toys it makes it very easy as they get older to apply the same ideas to the rest of life. 

 We also look for chances to serve in everyday life. My son loves holding the door for people at the store. We help people pick up things they drop. We stop and see if we can help the person stranded on the road. My kids choose some of their own toys a few times a year to give to kids without toys. I hope these examples are not coming across in a braggy tone, because that is not my intention. There is nothing to be impressed with here. The realty is these are all very easy ways to demonstrate the attitude of a servant. And that's the key; instilling an attitude of service in my kids. I don't want to force them to serve others. I want them to see me enjoying serving others and then follow suit. This is not to say we only serve others when it is easy and immediately enjoyable. We should strive to serve others even when it is costly and painful. Especially when it is costly and painful. But even those times provide opportunities to discuss the sacrifice of serving, Jesus' sacrifice for us, the ability to feel satisfaction in doing what is right even when it is not fun and other important lessons.