Family Friday #2: Making time for the family

Last week, I talked about how Anthony and I were determined to get out of debt by the end of 2015. This week we have been looking at our bills and trying to find ways to get some bills settled and help with financial services within hospitals in order to take care of some of the outstanding medical bills. This week, I wanted to talk about something that is very important to our family. It is the designated family time that we carve out.

When Anthony started working for Starbucks, we had been through a 9 month period of unemployment. We had really struggled through several commission only jobs and looked forward to the 60% income that the Unemployment Benefits brought us. Through that experience, we lost a lot of amenities. By that I mean, we were not able to run off to Vegas every weekend for a little road trip, we gave up our Uverse TV, we cut our cell phone packages and we moved out of our 1 bedroom apartment into a friend's guesthouse which they lovingly let us live in rent free for 6 months (Anthony did things here and there to help them out) It was a hard 9 month period.

Although there were a lot of losses during that, there was a huge gain and that was that Anthony and I learned to put our family first. When he was working for a large company that was a lucrative position and made us plenty of money, we sometimes let our family obligations go to the back burner for work. Anthony worked 5-6 days a week at about 14 hours a day. I barely saw him and it was building resentment. Luckily, we did not have kids then because it would have taken even a greater toll on me and a lot on a child.

We decided when we spent those 9 months of unemployment together that we really enjoyed each other's company so much and missed each other deeply during the 3 years Anthony had worked that job. It was grueling. We drew a line in the sand in that time period that we would always mark out a day of the week that others could not touch. We would not let family members ask us to do favors that day, we would not hang out with friends that day, we would not take work that day (even if we desperately needed money) because we had to make our marriage the top priority. Now, we have to make our family a top priority.

You may have heard me mention Married Mondays before and that is what Anthony and I call our day. We are not available to anyone else but each other on Mondays. There have been minimal times when we have had to do doctor appointments or something else important on a Monday but we always go together and make a day of it. We use this day to spend time together and sometimes it means that we do fun things like drive in the country, order pizza, watch a movie, go out to dinner, etc.. but sometimes it means we work on a household project together. Either way, we do not let others take this time from us. I would advise anyone that wants to have a tight knit, happy family to carve out time for it. Whether that means you have a sacred day like ours, a time of day (like 3 hours before bedtime), or even every other week...keep that time for your family and don't let others intrude upon it and overall...do not commit to anything on that day without the permission of all family members. Families need time together. They don't stay together without it!