Today Max turned 2 weeks old. I can't believe this baby that I have waited for, for what seems like forever is already here and turning two weeks old. I am sure that it feels a bit unrealistic since I have never been able to introduce him to friends and family or even been able to put him to bed in his own house. Yes, it is getting to me. This past week has been grueling for Anthony and I emotionally. We feel horrible for even complaining as Max is making so much progress and is growing and progressing through his NICU steps like a champ.
The doctors say that the only thing Max has left to do is to take 100% of his feeds by mouth and maintain that for two days and we will begin the discharge process. He has been taking anywhere from 60% to 90% over the last couple days but he hasn't quite hit 100% yet. He does really well at feeding but unfortunately because he is early, he gets tired when he eats and denies the bottle sometimes and they have to push the breastmilk through his NG tube in his nose and that does not count as 100% feeds. It has been very difficult to be teetering on the edge of taking our sweet boy home and just not quite getting there.
There are the obvious other things too like staying in hotels, not sleeping in our own bed, not making any money and worrying about how we are going to pay bills, and having various things at home that we can't really attend to right now. God has been so faithful to help us have places to stay these last two weeks, enough to eat, and gasoline to get back and forth to the hospital so you know...again...it feels horrible to grumble. We have experienced so much kindness by our friends who have stepped out and given us money to eat, have gasoline, etc.... We know that God has provided this far, so He will continue to.
We don't really have any idea how long it is going to be until we get home. The doctors say at the rate Max is going, it will be at least another week. They also say it is entirely normal for babies at this stage of development to take several steps forward and a few steps back making the stay longer. That is disheartening but we have had to take that news in stride and be patient with Max's progress. We love him enough to know that it is best for him to be here as long as he needs to be but we are also humans who are tired, concerned, and overwhelmed with what new parenting has brought us.
The current statistics on Max is that he is weighing in at 4 lbs and 11 oz. He went up briefly to 4 lbs, 13 oz but lost a bit when backing off on his feeds. He has not been measured again since birth to my knowledge but I will update when I hear something on that. He is off the Bilirubin light and is completely out of the jaundice area. He is no longer taking anything through an IV and has only the NG tube hooked up to his body as well as the machines that monitor his respiration and heart rate which are always great. My boy is super healthy and I praise God daily for that!
Although all those things are true, unfortunately, it is incredibly hard on one's spirit to hear good news only to hear it is prolonged another week. Anthony and I have stayed strong through this by letting each other have weak days and strong days. Today, I felt a bit stronger and Anthony said when he got up this morning that he was on the "edge of tears" so to be aware. I know that if I was not doing this journey with my best friend in the world and a man I trust implicitly, I would be totally lost. We would really like to extend our needs to you friends and ask you to pray, help, support us, encourage us in whatever way you can!
Here are the current prayer requests:
1. That Max reach his 100% feeds by mouth and be able to maintain that for 2 full days in order to start the discharge process and that nothing else comes up. That he is FULLY able to go home as soon as possible and that he is READY by doctor's standards
2. That we are able to afford the stay out here for however long he does have to stay. We are paid through February 8th and then it us up in the air and we go back to not having a place/money to stay.
3. That we are able to eat semi-healthfully while we are here since I am breastfeeding and diabetic. We have so far had enough help that we have been able to do this.
4, That we have enough gasoline to get to and from the hospital as well as be able to go home here and there to get things we may need (more clothes, mail, etc...)
5. That we are able to pay our February bills since Anthony has not worked since January 18th when I was admitted to the hospital. He had a few vacation days but then had to go on FMLA leave for taking care of a family member and has been here with me and Max. This was obviously necessary as I had surgery and can not drive/lift and staying here seemed like the only feasible option we could stomach.
6. For our weary spirits and achy hearts as we have to say goodnight to our boy each night and sleep in a different location from him. That our journey as parents hasn't really begun or at least it doesn't feel like it. That we are feeling beaten down, tired, and overwhelmed and need a refreshing of our spirits from the Lord.
I also wanted to update you all on our little friend Bennett who we asked you to pray for in the NICU. The hole in his heart has closed up, he is off the vent and is making amazing progress. Thank you to all who offered up prayers and please continue.
Again, thanks for stopping in, for your support and love as we journey through this and for even just thinking about us and asking how we are. We appreciate every prayer, word of encouragement, hand of help, and gesutre of friendship.
All of our love,
Anthony, Erica & Maxwell :)
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