Family Friday #2: Making time for the family

Last week, I talked about how Anthony and I were determined to get out of debt by the end of 2015. This week we have been looking at our bills and trying to find ways to get some bills settled and help with financial services within hospitals in order to take care of some of the outstanding medical bills. This week, I wanted to talk about something that is very important to our family. It is the designated family time that we carve out.

When Anthony started working for Starbucks, we had been through a 9 month period of unemployment. We had really struggled through several commission only jobs and looked forward to the 60% income that the Unemployment Benefits brought us. Through that experience, we lost a lot of amenities. By that I mean, we were not able to run off to Vegas every weekend for a little road trip, we gave up our Uverse TV, we cut our cell phone packages and we moved out of our 1 bedroom apartment into a friend's guesthouse which they lovingly let us live in rent free for 6 months (Anthony did things here and there to help them out) It was a hard 9 month period.

Although there were a lot of losses during that, there was a huge gain and that was that Anthony and I learned to put our family first. When he was working for a large company that was a lucrative position and made us plenty of money, we sometimes let our family obligations go to the back burner for work. Anthony worked 5-6 days a week at about 14 hours a day. I barely saw him and it was building resentment. Luckily, we did not have kids then because it would have taken even a greater toll on me and a lot on a child.

We decided when we spent those 9 months of unemployment together that we really enjoyed each other's company so much and missed each other deeply during the 3 years Anthony had worked that job. It was grueling. We drew a line in the sand in that time period that we would always mark out a day of the week that others could not touch. We would not let family members ask us to do favors that day, we would not hang out with friends that day, we would not take work that day (even if we desperately needed money) because we had to make our marriage the top priority. Now, we have to make our family a top priority.

You may have heard me mention Married Mondays before and that is what Anthony and I call our day. We are not available to anyone else but each other on Mondays. There have been minimal times when we have had to do doctor appointments or something else important on a Monday but we always go together and make a day of it. We use this day to spend time together and sometimes it means that we do fun things like drive in the country, order pizza, watch a movie, go out to dinner, etc.. but sometimes it means we work on a household project together. Either way, we do not let others take this time from us. I would advise anyone that wants to have a tight knit, happy family to carve out time for it. Whether that means you have a sacred day like ours, a time of day (like 3 hours before bedtime), or even every other week...keep that time for your family and don't let others intrude upon it and overall...do not commit to anything on that day without the permission of all family members. Families need time together. They don't stay together without it!

Family Friday #1: Family Goal!!

Fridays are dedicated to talking about things that are family topics. This can vary greatly from week to week and include a lot of different components. This can be family activities, family topics, family goals, family updates, etc...

Family Friday topic of the day is the Get out of Debt Plan!

Anthony and I have been through a lot in our short marriage of 5 years. We have lost a child to a late term miscarriage, lost a very lucrative job to the recession, 9 months on unemployment after said loss, moved across the country, and although a HUGE blessing...had a little guy 2 months early that required a month in the NICU. These have all been huge financial hardships and created a mess of debt. Some of it is "good debt" like my student loans and anything that made Max get through being early and other things are "bad debt" like having to let bills go in fear of losing our home during 9 months of unemployment. Through the process, we sought financial counseling. Some of that counsel was wise counsel and some of it really wasn't.

All of that to explain one of our family goals. Anthony and I want to be debt free (except for my student loans) by the end of 2015. Since this is a post about family and that is one of our goals, I thought that once in a while I would update on here how much debt we have eliminated through our plan and give you our plan for getting out of it.

First of all, there is always a plan for us to GIVE more. It's extremely hard to sit and complain about your lot in life when you are giving to people in more need than yourself. It is a great way to get perspective as you are downsizing your own life. The other plan is to use 20% of our income towards paying off our debts. That does not seem like a lot but there are other family expenses that really consume the other 70% and then the 10% that we always want to give from.

Another part of this plan was to downsize our life considerably. This included, but is not limited to, eating ALL of our meals at home, shopping from the Sale ads and budgeting $40/week for Groceries. It's hard but I am almost a genius at this by now. Another thing we did was cut off our cell phones. We were paying $200 a month for our cell phone plan with unlimited data packages. We have since come to the end of our contracts and did not renew them and allowed the phones to be shut off. That was a hard stuff for both us being that we are into our technology! We also are getting rid of our storage unit in California (losing some items is part of this as well) but my mentality is that if we haven't used any of these items in almost 2 years now, we probably don't need it! We also don't have luxuries like cable in our house. We stick with Netflix which is reasonable and unlimited so it allows us to enjoy appropriate tv with no commercials.

We also run a home based business with Scentsy, are considering adding another home based business so that I can work from home, and I take tutoring clients both locally and over the phone from California. These are all sacrifices we are willing to make in order to get ourselves to a healthy place financially.

THE WHY....

Most people would say something like wanting to buy a home, a new car, etc...as the reason they wanted to be out of debt. For Anthony and myself, we have two 12 year old vehicles still running fantastically and they are paid off. If we purchase another vehicle (such as a more roomy SUV) it will be used and we will not be taking on a new loan. We are not planning to buy a home for several more years due to having a place we really love that is VERY reasonable in cost. Our plan for getting out of debt is to teach our son to be a responsible steward and not to purchase things he cannot afford or overextend himself. Also, we want to teach the lesson of giving and enjoying family and experiences over THINGS.

I will be updating on this goal as often as I see fit and the next time I update, I am hoping to have a number of how much debt we have accrued with collections bills, credit cards, and medical bills. It is probably a large number but I believe that God will bless our efforts and soon enough I will be paying much more than 20% on debt and be able to get out of debt by the end of 2015! Please join with us in prayer on this goal. What are some of your family goals?

Three weeks old and HOME

I was hoping to update the blog a bit earlier than this but unfortunately due to our very expensive three weeks of no income, we shut the internet off at our apartment to save on luxuries for a bit. Today, I had to run to the library to print a document so now was a good time to update you all on Max's progress. Max reached his goal of 100% of his feeds by mouth on February 8th and we thought we would be headed home immediately but the doctor's wanted to see a bit more weight gain so the next few days were spent awaiting just 10 grams of weight gain.

On February 10th, Max gained 40 grams and we were headed home. We have been enjoying have Maxwell home so much since we brought him home. He is doing great and has had his first pedetrician appointment where we learned he was 4 lbs, 12 oz which means since leaving the NICU, he has gained almost 2 oz. We are getting into a schedule and learning new things about being parents. The big test starts tomorrow as Anthony returns to work and I go at this thing alone. Say your prayers for me.

I wanted to also report that God so completely provided for our time in Louisville and we were able to have our entire time there in lodging, food, and gasoline provided by YOU...our friends and family. We feel so incredibly blessed to have you all in our lives and Max is lucky to have you all as well. We will continue to tell him the story of how God richly provided and he is so loved. Keep Max in your prayers as he climbs the weight charts and grows into a healthy FULL TERM newborn. Right now, he would only be 35 weeks gestational age so we want to keep him in prayer for development and health.

We love you all and thank God for you daily.

Anthony, Erica, & Maxwell